Sex Ed and Humor with the Dickerson Girls

As a former biology teacher, I've never really struggled with talking about or teaching sexual reproduction.  Kennedy and Taylor were born so close together that Kennedy didn't really ask questions other than "when will the baby come out" the entire time I was pregnant.  When I was expecting Blake, Kennedy didn't really ask a lot of questions, but one day she informed me that she knew "where the baby was going to come out".  Surprised, I asked where and how she knew.  I don't recall all the details, but ultimately, she knew and had good reasons.

Finally, Blake was born the week after Easter 2010.  Days before Blake was born, Kennedy began asking questions about why Jesus was a miracle.  In good parenting fashion, I told my 7 year old that it was because Mary and Joseph were not married, and that typically babies are born to moms and dads who are married.  She bought it without further question.  We had a healthy baby.  Kennedy knew the "secret" about how Blake came into the world without a scar on my abdomen.

Skip forward another year to summer 2011.  I shared with Kennedy that a family friend was expecting a baby.  She immediately asked when the young girl got married.  I explained that she was not married.  Her brain quickly recalled our former conversation and she asked, "So it might be another baby Jesus?"  Ummmm...not exactly.  So, at a young 8 years old, we had "the conversation" about sexual reproduction.  She took it all in and wrapped it up with "So, you and Daddy had sex to get Blake?"  I smiled and said, "yes".  She said, "So, you and Daddy had sex to get Taylor?"  I smiled again and said, "yes".  She took a deep breath and said, "So...(insert long pause)" and I said, "and, we had sex to get YOU".  She just shook her head.  It was an intense moment, but ultimately, I was glad to begin such an important conversation.

Skip forward three more years to today.  Here we are at Easter four years after Blake's birth.  Taylor is now 8.  We've not really been close to any women expecting children in years.  Taylor hasn't really asked questions other than this doozy in the car last fall.  Honestly, I've just not thought to take the time to open that can of worms.  Within the last week, we've had the "when little girls become young women" conversation.  Today, on the way to school Taylor made a comment about our cat "getting pregnant until she has kittens".  I explained that our cat, Knick Knack is already pregnant.  I didn't get into the details, but told her that girls are either pregnant or not.  There really isn't a process like she was thinking.  She accepted that fact without further question.

Tonight, Chad sent Taylor out to feed the cats (Knick Knack the female and Squeakers the male).  Taylor was outside for a few minutes, and I could hear her calling Squeakers.  Finally she came in and plopped down at the table beside me and asked, "So, will Knick Knack still have the babies if the male ran off?"

Obviously, Chad and I have more explaining to do in terms of sexual reproduction.  But honestly, how different would the world be if the female only had a baby as long as the male stayed by her side?

What was I supposed to say?

This post almost didn't make it to the live blog. I'm still not 100% sure if it's even a good idea. So, if you are offended, please tell me why and how to better go about having this conversation with my children.

Thursday afternoon on the way home from school, Kennedy, Taylor and I had the following conversation:

K: Mom, my friend's sister go run over by a Mexican!

Me: Wait, wait, wait. She got run over by whom?

K: H, got run over by a Mexican, and her mom and dad sued that Mexican and got 800 million, billion dollars from that Mexican.

Me: Kennedy, it is not polite to refer to someone as "that Mexican". Mexican refers to a person who is from Mexico. Just because a person has brown skin does not make them a Mexican.

K: Well, that's what she said.

Me: Well, I do not want to hear you refer to someone as a Mexican unless you know for sure that they are from the country Mexico. It is more polite to refer to someone as hispanic or latino.

K: Well, M is a Mexican Mutt.

Me: WHAT?

K: M is a Mexican Mutt.

Me: Is that what M said?

K: Yes, he is a Mexican Mutt because his dad is a Mexi (pause) hispanic and his mom is white.

Me: Well, if M's parents allow him to refer to himself like that, I can't do anything about it, but you may not ever refer to someone as a Mexina Mutt. That is rude. The word that you should use is biracial.

K: What?

Me: Biracial. Like your bicycle has 2 tires...biracial means 2 races. M's 2 races are hispanic and caucasian or white. Like J at school. Her mother is hispanic and her father is black. So, J is biracial.

Taylor: That's right. J is brown and her mom and dad "buyed her at the races!"

So, I'm interested in knowing how other people have had the conversation with their children. I mean, we teach our children that God made all people, and that God loves each of us the same. We also tell them that they should love all people the same. However, that teaching does not automatically make our children colorblind or answer all of their questions. Any ideas?