Taylor's random page selection out of her journal

The date in the journal was "Summer 2009" which suggests two things. First of all, this item was jotted down on a sheet of paper and shoved in a drawer without a specific date prior to its permanent home in the journal. And, it tells me that Taylor was almost four when it happened.

Today it was raining outside most of the day. We were pretty happy about the rain. Kennedy and Taylor wanted to play in the rain. Of course, I allowed them to play in the rain since it meant they were outside and not in the house fighting over something trivial. Taylor suddenly came running into the house in a frenzy. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that it was thundering. Considering that thunder is the sound caused by lightning, I asked Taylor what she thought we should do. Clearly not understanding the concept of EMERGENCY, she said, "call 9-1-1". And there I was thinking maybe we should just dry off and go in the house!

Update on my Goals

Remember back several weeks ago when I wrote a post about my goals for the new year? Well, it has been approximately four weeks since that post. I have to say, I had to go back and reread the post to even recall what those goals were. I mean, I knew what some of them were, but I could not recall the entire list.

I do realize that I have a lot of work left to do, but I have made some progress. Well, I have discovered that three of my goals are in direct conflict with each other. Specifically, I want to continue to nurse Blake until her first birthday, which involves the dreaded pump at school. Pumping really isn't that big of a deal, except that it takes time. And, that time happens to be during the lunch period of the two big girls. So, I have to figure out how to pump and have time for lunch with them once every other week. And, if that is not problematic enough, that is also my allotted time to work on special programs. Therefore, I have approximately one hour to take care of a lot of things that are all important to me. At this point, it seems that the most important item has been to get organized with my new responsibilities. I think that may be due to the fact that my kids can't fire me! But, it is important to me that I fit them into the schedule for lunch every few weeks.

Another goal that I have not devoted any time or effort to until last week is losing weight. I don't talk a lot about my weight because it is such an emotional subject for me. I did join Weight Watchers again last Monday. I joined Weight Watchers for the first time when Kennedy was 4 1/2 months old. I did lose weight and become a Lifetime member. After Taylor was born, I actually worked for Weight Watchers as a leader and lost weight again. However, before I was even pregnant with Blake, I gained a significant amount of weight. So, now I have the "baby weight" as well as the "I was lazy" weight to lose. I finally accepted that it isn't going to fall off (although some people claim it will if you nurse...LIARS!) and I must get started. Today is the first weigh in since I didn't start the program. Yep, you read that correctly. I went last week, but I haven't "worked the program" due to laziness, travel, and illness.

I did have the nurse check my blood pressure at school last week and it was good. Not fabulous, but better than it has been since Blake was born. So, there's a victory.

Sorry this post isn't too exciting. But, I have an idea for a post soon. It's going to be a sneak peek into Kennedy and Taylor's journals where I write their most memorable moments, etc.

You have got to be kidding...

This week has been too outrageously weird not to post about it. So, here's a random assortment of the things you've missed if you don't live in the Dickerson house.

Monday--Chad and Taylor went to the deer lease to do whatever it is that they do at the deer lease before deer season starts. Kennedy, Blake, and I stayed home and made an attempt at cleaning our messy, messy house. About 5 PM Chad came in the house looking pasty white. I thought he was going to vomit in the living room floor as he hobbled to the couch. After directing him NOT to vomit on my carpet, I learned that he stepped off the 4-wheeler directly into a hole. He assured me that he heard snapping noises as he fell to the ground in pain. So, to the E.R. we went. Luckily, my in-laws met us at the E.R. to take the 3 girls back to their house. Now, as if this isn't crazy enough, I walked (and Chad hobbled) into the E.R. at 6:45PM, expecting to be there for hours. But, it was our lucky day. We left 1 hour later with Chad sporting a walking boot and crutches.

Tuesday--Chad was up most of the night in pain. And, Kennedy got up complaining of a sore throat. Normally, I would not panic about a sore throat, but this was day 2 of the complaint, and I learned on Monday evening that the neighbor was getting over strep throat. So, Tuesday morning I have Chad on the couch (drugged), Taylor crying because she has to go to school, Kennedy headed for the doctor, Blake smiling at the world, and me trying to figure out how things went so wrong so quickly! Once again, God shows off and Kennedy tests negative for strep.

Wednesday--I have to take my Acadia back to the shop for the 450th time for the 250th different thing. I have a real love-hate relationship with that vehicle. The lady was nice enough to give me a loaner vehicle when I explained to her that I had THREE car seats to maneuver when they kindly dropped me off at work. Guess they didn't realize that if you work where your kids go to school when you find a friend to take you back to your car, that means you need the car seats too! Are you counting? This is 3 crazy events followed by 3 examples of God protecting my sanity and providing for our family.

Thursday--This is by far the most outrageous of all days...E.V.E.R. Kennedy goes out the back door to jump on the trampoline. She quickly comes scrambling back inside in such a panic that I can't understand anything she is trying to tell me. After calming her down, I understand that the neighbor's dog has his head stuck in the fence between our yards, and Kennedy believes he isn't breathing. Naturally, I imagine dog's head through the privacy fence, struggling dog, broken neck, scarred for life 7 year old. Well, actually only most of that sentence happened. The dog actually managed to get himself mostly through the fence before apparently pinching his intestines. Yes, he really was dead. Now, I am an animal person, and I do not take that lightly. However, I am also a mother and wife and I begin to put things together in my head. Chad on crutches with broken ankle can't get Dalmatian out of fence. Other than the size, I just can't bring myself to touch the dog. The owner isn't home. My older 2 kids are looking at this dead dog caught half way between the yards. My daddy is working in Port Arthur. My brother moved to Gladewater. My friend Lisa and her husband are in the Caribbean. My friend Amanda's husband is probably fishing or hunting. God has been so good to me this week. SURELY this is not how my week is going to end. Within minutes Kent (an almost vet) drives into the drive way to bring my crippled husband home. Guess who gets drafted to deal with the dog situation in his khaki's, dress shirt, etc. Yes, I am convinced that God put Kent on this earth to remove that dog from the fence (and yes, maybe to be a good husband, daddy, Sunday School leader, etc.)

Friday--not nearly as exciting as the previous days, but here's the notice I received from the P.E. coach this morning after Kindergarten P.E.

Thought of the day according to Taylor Dickerson: Don't spit into the wind, cause it might blow back in your face! (Seriously, that's a smart girl!)

Have a great weekend!

Four daughters?

Most of you consider me the mother of three girls. However, actually, I have another daughter. Stop. Wait. Think. Do not place a call into the rumor mill. This daughter is actually about 11 years older than Kennedy. She came into my life in October of 2007. This daughter did not enter my life in the typical fashion. Instead, she walked through the door in room 151, sat in a desk in the middle row, opened a spiral, and began doodling. She was very quiet and timid.

A few days later, she began to come to my classroom during her lunch period (on the few days she actually came to school). We sat and talked. I am not sure why she chose me, but she did. She gradually began to share tiny pieces of her life with me. She was a miserable, hurting sixteen-year-old precious little girl. The details are not important, but essentially, she became a part-time Dickerson. I am not sure what she would say about it all now, but being "Dickerson" came with good and bad experiences. Some of my favorites were sitting at the dining room table WITHOUT a cell phone to have a meal with the family, camping in a tent at the deer lease, and being forced to attend church if she stayed over Saturday night.

Within a few months, this sweet young lady had truly become one of us. Kennedy and Taylor adored her, although she was terrified of them! Chad and I prayed for her, attempted to mentor her, and loved her as our own.

In a Lifetime movie, this is where I would say that we loved her enough to "fix" her world and everything in it. Well, this is not a Lifetime movie. In real life, her world was spinning out of control. My life was spinning right along with hers because I truly did want to "fix" her and her world. I was not able to fix her world, but I was able to hold her, cry with her, and love her. At one point, it truly looked to be impossible. I cannot even imagine how it must have felt from her perspective. However, she is resilient. She slowly began to put things into place. She walked some long, dark roads alone in order to improve her life. She made choices that were in direct opposition to the opinion of immediate family members who do not appear to value things such as education and emotional or financial independence.


At the most difficult point in this journey, I was unable to talk directly to this precious girl. I even doubted whether my "help" had been any help at all. However, her gift of words made it clear to me at that moment that we were put here to help each other. You know how moms save those sweet little notes and drawings from their little kids? Well, this "sweet little poem" is as dear to me as the tiny footprints of my biological children. She wrote...

I don’t know how I made it before you,
So I don’t know how I’m surviving now,
Maybe it’s just the thought that you care,
That keeps me moving forward, somehow.

Sometimes I can’t fall asleep at night,
And I need someone to talk to,
I pick up the phone and then put it down,
When I remember that I can’t call you.

Sometimes I’m crying because I’m alone,
And I remember that you can’t be there,
And I think you shouldn’t waste your time on me,
You don’t have to, so why do you care?

I know I tell you all the time that I love you,
And I tell you how much you mean to me,
But I don’t think I could ever tell you enough,
I just don’t want you to forget it, you see?

I want you to know that you mean a lot to me,
And I don’t know how else to say,
I love you alot, and don’t forget,
You’re really the reason I made it today

She is doing it. She is making a better life for herself. She is enrolled in college. She is pushing through even when the courses are tough, and it would be easier to quit. She is also working when it would be more fun to be a college kid and party. Graduation with an Associate's Degree is on the horizon. I am so proud of her.

Most importantly, she allowed me to be present when she made a public profession of faith through baptism. I was so proud of her. I was excited for my other three girls to be present to see such a happy moment in her life. I was giddy. Chad was too.

This daughter of mine is special. She is a fighter. She is smart. She is pretty. She is a gifted writer. She is an inspiration to me.

Sweet, sweet girl, I am so proud of you. I am unbelievalby blessed because you chose me. I love you.